For a long time, Sundays were very hard–filled with anxiety of the upcoming week. Stress dreams and nightmares about what could go wrong, what was already going wrong playing out in my sleep, or maybe a long night of restlessness.
While this moment in time is not yet anxiety-free (I am barely employed, after all), I am incredibly thankful for Sundays like this one, reading a book all day, snuggling with the dogs, listening to their endless barking at a newly formed pile of hay in the field next door. I get to water and tend to and nurse the garden, and the same goes for myself. Resting and tending, and eating and cooking. I’m finding some of the foods that caused incredible inflammation before aren’t leaving me in pain. I’m nourishing my body with healing foods, feeding my mind loving thoughts and exposing myself to good books and media. I affirm, journal, stretch, ponder, rest, play, explore. I stare at the stars and get lost in the moon.
This is not fight. It’s not flight.
It is rest. It is digest.
Every once in a while, I get a glimpse of what I desire for what’s next for me. Even though I’m not sure exactly what it looks like, I’m okay with that. Each day, I get a clearer glimpse of who I am right now, what I love, what brings me joy, what makes me smile and what makes me cry. And it makes me excited to know that I will be able to enjoy what is next because I’m learning to enjoy what is now.
(from the archives)